The Dilemma of a strong woman

Majorca at 7 o`clock in the morning. A beautiful sunrise..silence and peace. A short time later follows my usual morning workout: At my horse feed dealer Lorenzo (a true Majorcan and over 80 years old!), I catapult six heavy feed bags for my horses into my car together with him. He grins at me with his wonderfully gnarled old face and says:

„Tu eres una mujer muy fuerte!“ (You are a very strong woman!)

and adds that he means that not only in terms of my physical strength, but also in terms of my head…

Self-confident and independent women often hear this sentence:

„You are very strong- and then usually followed comments (by the way from women and men) like –

…no wonder men are afraid of you

…no wonder you are single

…no wonder, you work in a man`s world

Women often tell me that they find this sentence unpleasant…They almost see him as a curse …

What`s the matter with us? We interpret this sentence as negative-according to the motto „You are a man-woman“. So the opposite of feminine, delicate, soft, in need of support, seeking protection…

What does it mean – being a strong woman?

…being a single parent, saying his opinion, being able to say NO- without being afraid of consequqnces, not having to ask my husband if I am allowed to buy the 100th pair of shoes, not wanting to talk in the „we-form“ all the time, being able to reconcile children and work and still having to listen to strange comments, treat yourself to your own positive egoism, be successful and – enjoy it, and

be able to admit weakness, to ask for help, to leave your own pride out of it, to admit that you can not do everything perfectly, that you are often quite broken,that you curse your multi-tasking skills, that sometimes you are too nice in situations not to be too hard, that you like to have a „strong shoulder to cry on“ – sometimes…

Also to be able to admit that there are a „few things“, that men simply can do better…

Personally, I would say of myself: Yes, I am a strong woman – whatever that means.

After the hard work of my food bags for the horses, I first drank a „cortado“ (espresso with milk) with Lorenzo and he lovingly told me about his deceased wife…

By the way, also a strong woman – she was already the first woman in the village in 1965 – who had a „male profession“: Because she loved cars, she set up a car workshop…and Lorenzo helped her – in the background, as he smiles and emphasizes…

And – it doesn`t mean: Behind a strong man there is a strong woman…I think, that`s also true vice versa.

In this sense: Have fun being strong!